Editor's Note

The following essay in based on extensive review of a copy of Storm Constantine's own rewrite of The Enchantments of Flesh and Spirit, completed in 2001. Storm hopes to someday find a publisher for a revised edition of Wraeththu. At the present time, this revision exists as a manuscript. I obtained a copy directly from the author. Please do not ask me for it, as this is not something I can distribute and it is also something which hopefully will be published one day. All material quoted directly from the manuscript is copywrited material by Storm Constantine.

**Addendum (5/22/03)** This fully revised Enchantments is being published by Immanion Press, Storm's own publishing outfit, in a deluxe (but affordable) edition. It's currently available for pre-order on Amazon.co.uk and may be available for sale via other venues (although not via U.S. outfits).

Introduction: On The Nature of the New Edition

It's often difficult for an artist to judge his or her own work, especially in the heady days or months directly after its creation. This is particularly true of first works, where an artist has poured their heart and soul into creating their "baby," so much so that it's difficult for them to distance themselves enough to see the work in a larger perspective, let alone see its flaws or imagine angles left unexplored. Such seems to have been the case with Storm Constantine, who wrote the Wraeththu trilogy as the culmination of ideas and passions that had been building inside her for years. The three books poured out and then there they were. Whole. Complete. Done.

The artist did not remain static, however. She moved on. She wrote more. She read more. She explored other worlds, travelled, and ended up in contact with the readers of those original first novels. She even read fan fiction based on those novels. And after a dozen years had passed, Storm starting seeing the books in a new light and having ideas that she didn't have -- and perhaps couldn't have had -- at the time they were first written. She decided to re-explore the story. As Storm explains in an essay available on her web site, "New Steps from Saltrock: Wraeththu Revisited,"

One thing quickly became obvious as I put the pages into a master document. The Enchantments of Flesh and Spirit is very evidently a first novel, littered with plot holes, bad grammar and sections that are, frankly, badly written. The opening chapter in particular is a mess. As I read it, wincing visibly, it seemed to me that I found my feet round about the place in the story where Pellaz first becomes Wraeththu. The novel flows more smoothly thereafter. More than anything, as I scrolled through the pages, I wanted to re-edit the book, and also add more material to fill in the gaping holes. Bewitchments and Fulfilments are more accomplished, and would need less editing, but the first one - ouch!

Storm faced a formidable task. For the editing, not only would she have to re-immerse herself in a world she had be out of for quite a few years, but she would have to invent whole new sections of the book and rework it to her own satisfaction, all the while being respectful of the original novel. She didn't want to ruin the good bits or tamper with the tone. Assuming the book could be re-published, a book that had been changed too drastically would bomb with fans of the original, of which there are many. No doubt this took a lot of work. There is good news: She did it right.

There are many, many other examples of this, some much more dramatic. In the case of the single long paragraph describing the first stabs of pain in Pell's Althaia, the new version has broken the single chunk of text into nine discrete paragraphs and the improvement this makes is quite striking. This technique of breaking up paragraphs is fairly simple but nevertheless, the improvement it lends to the overall readability of the book and effectiveness of the story is vast.

This is not the only change in terms of structure, however. Storm has also broken the chapters of the book into slightly different pieces than in the original. In the case of Chapter One, expansion of the beginning of the story meant that the chapter became so long that it made sense to have it end with Cal and Pell sharing breath ("He called it a sharing of breath. We I came from, we called it a kiss."), contrary to the original, where Chapter One ends with Pell being comforted by Flick after breaking down, overwhelmed by his arrival among Wraeththu. In fact, in the new edition, Pell and Cal's trip to Saltrock and the Saltrock section in general are expanded to the point that the end of the original's Chapter One doesn't come until the very end of Chapter Three.

Other changes to the structure include new opening paragraphs, a framing device of Pell on his balcony in Immanion, preparing to deliver his history ("This may become a history book, but remember it is only my history.") This is immediately followed by the original opening lines, "My name is Pellaz. I have no age. I have died and lived again. This is my testament."

Another change seen throughout the novel is the fact that some paragraphs or sections have been shifted either forward or backward in the story, often as part of general section rewrites where new dialogue or narrative has been added. In comparing the two versions carefully, several times I came across sections that appeared to have been cut only to see that they are in fact still included, only at another juncture in the story. In no case did I feel the pieces had been moved inappropriately; Storm shows remarkable judgement.

Storm has not changed the plot of Enchantments, but she has expanded on it. Not all sections were altered to the same extent. While the middle chapters, detailing Cal and Pell's experiences with the Kakkahaar, Irraka and Varrs, remain largely as they were, with only a few changes, the opening section, in which Pell details his life prior to Cal's arrival at the cable farm, has been greatly expanded. And while the single-page Immanion Enquirer story noting Caeru's arrival in Immanion has been expanded to include a couple chapters' worth of entirely new scenes, the section of Book 2 from Pell's rebirth through arrival as Tigron remains largely unchanged.

The Hanervogts go on, detailing some of what they have observed in the cities of the north as well as elsewhere, as Wraeththu spread. As scientists, they have tried to study the phenomena only to find themselves frustrated; they know there is a secret, but they don't know what it is. They note that Wraeththu hide their dead and so they cannot be physically examined. There are other mysteries, hints at darkness, lurid sexual practices, rituals, and a contempt for humanity and its precepts.

Ped tucked his box of matches into a pocket of his denim shirt and seemed to have recovered his poise. His voice, though, still had a dramatic edge. 'As we studied their behaviour, it quickly became clear to us that they had spurned the society that bred them, rebelling totally. In the beginning, they were as ephemeral as werewolves or vampires, haunting the towns with their gaunt and drug-poisoned bodies. Initially, we did not think it was more serious than other cults that have gripped the imagination of the young. Dress codes, quirks and rituals. People grow up. They grow out of these things. Wraeththu don't. They prowl, full of hatred. They kill. Passionlessly. At night, all streets have become places of fear. The Wraeththu dress in certain ways to signify different factions. They spit obscenities upon society's sacred cows. Everything is twisted. They live rough in all the shunned places. They fornicate amongst themselves amid the debris they have created and they laugh while they're doing it. Wolves. No, hyenas. Carrion eaters. It's all been kept quiet, but we know that these animals have slaughtered entire communities down to the youngest child. They hate and despise people other than themselves. We don't know what they think their name means, but we do know what it means to everyone else: death, rape and madness.'

The fact that Pell has received such explicit forewarning on the potential dangers of Wraeththu adds a great deal to the sections of the book leading from there to his inception. Pell does not follow Cal without fear. He has heard terrible things. He wonders if what he has heard from the Hanervogts is true or an exaggeration. When he arrives in Saltrock, he wonders what the Hanervogts would think, as the Wraeththu there, although strange and different, do not seem nearly as threatening as the couple had implied. In short, the introduction of the Hanervogts' story adds further depth.

From the very beginning, Pell knows what Cal is and more than that, he finds himself bewitched. He has heard the stories of the travelers, specifically the Hanervogts, and he knows Cal may be out to steal him or seduce him, and yet he can't help being drawn to him. Much moreso than in the original, Pell is aware that he is filled with a desire to be with Cal; he even considers that he is behaving like "a lovesick girl." Pell also is much more descriptive about exactly what he sees in Cal, comparing him to an angel (perhaps a fallen one, he tellingly remarks).

There are numerous expansions to this section, with added narrative, reflection on Pell's part, and dialogue. The fateful night Pell drops his arm down from the bed and Cal grasps it, for example, now includes Pell asking Cal what he is and Cal telling him, saying, "You knew at once. Not everyone does, but those who do are meant to."

Overall there is a strengthening of the ties between these two, fated to be lovers, as well as a strengthening of Cal's character. Pell is much more aware of Cal's pain and distress, clearly realizing that something is bothering him during their trip to Saltrock, although just as in the original, he is unaware of exactly what traumas Cal has undergone. He is not, however, unaware of Cal's sense of humor, which appears in new bits throughout the book. The following lines are a good example:

    'Hopefully, by tonight, we will reach the end of this pass.'
    'What do you mean "hopefully"? If you've not been here before, how do you know?'
    'Through strange and esoteric means,' he said blandly and then added. 'It's called a map. I've seen a map.'
    'Where is it? I haven't seen you looking at one.'
    Cal tapped his head. 'In here...'

To correct this, Storm has included not only Pell's worries based on what he's heard from the Hanervogts, but has Pell offer much more detail on some of his observations, feelings, and doubts. As in the original, Pell doesn't like that he's not being told anything, but unlike that version, the rewrite has Pell expressing his resentment much more vehemently. When Cal tells him they've decide to incept him, Pell is angry.

    'When did you decide this? Last night?'
    'It was decided a long time ago,' he said.
    'Cal,' I said, 'it is my decision, not yours, or Seel's or anyone else's. Why didn't you discuss it with me?'
    'You went to bed,' he said. 'But isn't it what you want? Isn't it why you're here? You don't want to leave. You don't want to go back, so what's the point in delay? Your questions are a nightmare. Once you know the answers, then I'll know peace.'
    'But will I?'

Pell's anger and rebellious spirit truly explode, however, once Orien and Seel explain to him what the Althaia is about. Rather than taking it all in and merely being frightened and shocked, in the new version, Pell goes completely wild, denying everything he has heard, screaming and kicking and fighting the hara. He has to be restrained and even when they try to explain it to him calmly, telling him it's only his human spirit fighting for survival, he fights them with all he has:

I thrashed upon the bed, and Seel held me fast. I felt possessed, and it really was as if a maddened animal had taken over my mind. When I spoke, my voice was hoarse, the voice of a beast, but then my throat was raw from screaming. 'You do this against my will,' I growled. 'You have trapped me. I will not surrender to you. You'll have to kill me.'

The ensuing section detailing Pell's Forale and Althaia have been enhanced in ways large and small, but it is a scene immediately following the completion of the Althaia that stands out as a dramatic addition. Thiede, in coming to Pell prior to his first aruna, offers not a single, one-paragraph monologue of advice and prophecies, but engages Pell in a dialogue and offers forth advice on aruna and love. Evidently this advice is based on his own painful, bitter experiences, as detailed in Storm's short story "Paragenesis."

After some introductory dialogue (during which he encourages Pell to change his name, which Pell refuses to do) and an explation of the nature of hermaphrodism, Thiede warns Pell about attaching "romantic ideas" to aruna, saying "it is functional," and that "it is not a sign of love, ownership, commitment to a relationship or even of simple desire." Thiede then asks Pell is he has any prior sexual experience; when Pell says he doesn't, Thiede is pleased to describe the details of aruna, employing the clinical terms of a scientist, coldly and without feeling. Pell immediately rejects this idea, noting that "whatever Thiede said, aruna still sounded like an intensely private and intimate act." When Thiede then goes on to deride the notion of "love," Pell begins to tune him out. As soon as Thiede leaves, Pell concludes that he is sure he doesn't see things Thiede's way.

During this dialogue, Thiede makes several allusions to his designs on Pell's future and even offers several prophecies. He say to Pell, "We will meet again, one day. I do not give my time, or my essence, lightly. We will have work to do, eventually, you and I." These hints are part of Storm's extensive work throughout this section to build up the ominous presentiments Pell feels towards the figure who will grow to have such a massive impact on his life. Pell is aware from the start that Thiede has marked him. He doesn't know for what and he doesn't share his feelings with others, but he is aware.

Someone else who is aware of the danger posed by Thiede is Cal, who is far from happy with the way events have proceeded. His antipathy towards Thiede is clear. He is also extremely suspicious of Orien, suspecting him of engaging in some some sort of conspiracy with Thiede. Cal's suspicions are, of course, correct, but just as in the original, Cal cannot get an admission from Orien.

Cal's suspicions are more vividly brought to light in a new scene the day of the Grissecon. In this scene, Cal comes at Orien with barbed questions, not only about Thiede, but the way Saltrock is being run (he sees it as an elitist, escapist fantasyland) and the way Aghamists are ignoring the troubles among the tribes to the north. Cal and Orien never get along and Cal makes numerous pointed remarks to Pell about his revered teacher. Pell is resentful of this, not wanting to hear Cal attack someone he admires, even if he does have his own questions, especially when Orien offers direct hints at some sort of plot, telling him upon his leaving Saltrock, "There is a shadow in the future. I have given birth to it, but believe me when I say it was done with your best interests at heart."

Orien's role in the story has been expanded in other ways. Storm has opted to detail Pell's caste training much more explicitly, having Pell describe specific exercises and teachings, as given to him by the Wraeththu adept. Orien delivers an interesting discourse on the nature of matter and how it is that hara, like certain human adepts of old, can manipulate it with their minds.

Orien also gives Pell a lesson neither he nor any reader will forget, spending a few hours doing "work with the arunic energies." The principles Orien explains have much in common with the principles involved in contemporary human notions, often considered "alternative," of the way forces and energies of the body work and can be focused and manipulated via the genitals. These tantric-type principles place aruna in the context of something which can heal the body and mind. Orien's hands-on demonstration with Pell leaves the newly incepted har exhausted, if not unenlightened.

One small point added to the book towards the end of the Saltrock section is a request Pell makes of Flick. He asks Flick to look up his family on the cable farm -- if he ever goes west and ends up in the area. Since Storm has noted that Flick as well as Pell's brothers make an appearance in the new Wraeththu novels, it's obvious this addition was made to bind the novels together more solidly.

The final bit of the Saltrock section has also been changed to some degree, with Pell and Cal leaving Saltrock with Seel and going to Greenling, but with a new conversation in a bar. Cal demands that Seel "spill it" about Thiede. He wants to know what's going on, how Thiede got there so fast, what Orien is hiding. Seel admits that it's mysterious and perplexing but apparently doesn't know any more than Cal does. Cal is not appeased and in fact never is appeased, as evidenced by his later murder of the har he sees as having helped to aid the plot that ends in Pell's death.

Lianvis also offers up additional background on the development of Wraeththu tribes, particularly his own. This is part of the general expanded world-building Storm has done in this book, inserting details she had come up with in the ensuing years and tying them into the storyline.

The story is almost unchanged as far as Cal and Pell's experiences with the Irraka, where they encounter Cobweb, rescuing him in order to use him as a way to avoid harm from the Varrs. Cobweb's character is slightly expanded as he interacts with Pell more fully, teaching Pell a few things he didn't know, in particular some of the details of Wraeththu procreation. As it turns out, one doesn't have to be Nahir Nuri to father a pearl; if Terzian is any example, a har only need believe he can father sons in order to do so. This knowledge influences Pell later when he plants his seed in Caeru.

Another quite obvious addition to Cal as a character is his intense suspicion towards Thiede and Orien, already described earlier in this article. This antipathy of course ends up exploding, having consequences that reverberate throughout the rest of the trilogy. Beyond his feelings about Thiede's meddling in Pell's life, Cal's political views are also more sharply outlined; one can see that he is come out of the north feeling resentment towards hara like those in Saltrock who live lives free of the violence and desperation he has encountered. He wants to unite Wraeththu under a strong government that can bring peace and order to the world.

Seel, who later appears as a pivotal character in Bewitchments, also gets Storm's treatment. From the very beginning, it's clear that he and Cal go way back, sharing memories and experiences that Pell will never know about. Furthermore, it's implied several times that he and Cal began life on the same path but at one point split up, with Seel moving towards becoming an adept and achieving things in life, and Cal going for a life of action amongst the tribes of the north. Seel also delivers a truly impressive speech to Pell during his Forale. Pell derides Wraeththu as "hideous," complaining he's being forced into something he doesn't want. Seel answers Pell's accusations with pride.

'I am not hideous,' Seel said, 'as you well know. I am more than I ever was, and not for one minute do I regret it. Orien was right: your humanity, your identity, is terrified of change. It does not want the freedom being Wraeththu can give it. It fights in ignorance. There are people who have died trying to reach us, who wanted to be Wraeththu more than anything. There are people I know who can never be like us. Can't you see that you are blessed?'

These are but a few of the characters Storm has gifted with more depth, more detail, more dialogue. Thiede obviously has been given a much greater role, his advice to Pell following his Althaia being a prime example. Flick is even more of a friend and confidant to Pell, and there are some bits added that evidently tie into Storm's plans for future Wraeththu novels. Orien has many more scenes and the descriptions of his lessons to Pell, especially the "arunic energies" lesson, are quite vivid. Cobweb is as mysterious and charismatic as ever. Kate is even more forceful on her views about women's part in the world and when she arrives in Immanion with Caeru and Abrimel, she faces up to Pell with great strength. Vaysh as a character is largely the same, although he does chastise Pell strongly over the way he reacts towards Caeru; he feels Pell should acknowledge the child, as harlings are such a rare thing among Wraeththu. Ashmael also has more of a role (and a last name, Alderbaran, thanks to fan Mischa!), advising Pell not only on politics but on matters of the heart, telling Pell to give up on his dreams of reunion with Pell.

Conclusion

While some fans might worry that in tampering with her first novel, which is without a doubt the work for which she is most strongly associated, Storm has made a mistake and entered territory too holy for any sort of alteration. However, a review of her work shows that Storm owns this territory and knows it like the back of her hand. She makes it into something even greater than it was before. I fervently hope this new version makes it into print, for if it does, the entire Wraeththu series as a whole will benefit and Storm will see all her hard editing work make it out into the world, where, I do not doubt, it will be warmly received among fans, old and new.